you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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