I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She told me I should be a condom model.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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