Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
COCAINE IS GR8
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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