What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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