So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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