I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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