do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
