my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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