I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
