he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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