You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
