Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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