Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
