Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
