I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Boobs speak an international language.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
