When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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