So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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