You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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