The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
