I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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