So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
barbara walters just said penis...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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