Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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