You just made me feel so damn special
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
