I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
