If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
