dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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