Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
