Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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