We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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