we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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