Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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