Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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