my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Couch. On fire.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
