you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
