Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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