Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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