respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
