Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
