so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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