"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize