Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
