So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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