apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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