could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
