Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
