How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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