you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
