So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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