Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
