I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
