On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
