don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
