I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
