is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
