This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
