I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
