We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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