we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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